How do you define deFOO? FOO stands for family of origin. To deFOO is to break from your family of origin. deFOO is a phrase that was coined by Stefan Molyneux at Freedomain Radio. If you are curious about what it means to deFOO, then continue reading. If you arrived on this blog because you think Freedomain Radio is a cult and you have already slandered it as such, you are in the wrong place.
If you are a visitor, who read an article or heard an interview with Barbara Weed and then went to Google and typed in deFOO, I think you should hear this interview with The Times and Tom Weed. It is the full uncut audio version. Also be sure to checkout my post about the original Guardian Article.
Here is a direct quote from Stefan on deFOOing:
To be accurate, there is no ‘idea of defooing’ – it is a term simply used to mean ‘taking a break from an abusive family while under the care of a professional therapist’ (which would be too long to type every time).
Greg G wrote a great explaination of what deFOO means on the FDR forums:
“foo” is a shortand acronym used in the medical and psych professions, for “Family of Origin”. It’s an all-inclusive way of saying “your parents”, even if they aren’t biological.
Some folks who come from abusive or destructive households, and who are unable to resolve those issues in their relationship, choose to separate from their families, for the sake of their health and sanity.
What most people don’t understand is that a deFOO is not really about a child breaking from his or her parents, but a parent rejecting his or her child for who they are. The deFOO is not about breaking with your family just because they are your family. It is about voluntary relationships and practicing what you preach.
The reason for this post is because I truly want others to be honest in their relationships. There is no bigger regret for an atheist than to waste their life in relationships that are essentially about rejection. I spent 25 years of my life under the illusion that the relationship with your family of origin is not optional, that you must stay in contact with them no matter how they act towards you. This idea crippled my honesty with them. This idea was created by them to cripple me.
I highly recommend bringing your ideas and feelings to everyone who you claim to love and claim to love you. Love is not unconditional and not undefinable. Love is about shared values and you do not want to spend your life in relationships that reject you and your values.
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Tags: defoo, freedomain, radio
